Breaking the Cycle of Mom-Shaming: Empowering Mothers to Make Their Own Choices

During a recent encounter, I happened to overhear two mothers engaging in a discussion where they were criticizing and condemning working mothers who left their children at daycare or with their grandparents. The two mothers clarified that taking care of their children was solely their responsibility and expressed their surprise over why these mothers even had children if they could not look after them by themselves. I was left feeling disturbed and troubled by the critical mindset of these mothers, who did not hesitate to belittle their friends and neighbours.

Mom shaming is the act of criticizing or judging a mother for her choices, decisions, or actions regarding her parenting style, lifestyle, or preferences. Examples of mom shaming can vary widely, but some common ones include:

• Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding: Mothers who choose to breastfeed are sometimes shamed for breastfeeding or not doing so, while mothers who choose to formula feed are criticized for not providing their babies with the "best" nutrition.

• Working vs. staying at home: Mothers who work outside the home may be shamed for not spending enough time with their children, while mothers who stay at home may be criticized for not financially contributing to the family.

• Parenting style: Mothers may be shamed for using certain disciplinary techniques, like spanking or time-outs, or for being strict with their children.

• Screen time: Mothers may be criticized for allowing their children too much screen time or for not allowing them any at all.

• Appearance: Mothers may be shamed for their appearance, whether it's their weight, clothing choices.
• Pregnancy and childbirth: Mothere are shamed for their choices regarding pregnancy and childbirth, such as having a C-section or choosing not to breastfeed.
• Health choices: Mothers may be shamed for their choices regarding their own health, such as smoking or drinking alcohol, or for their choices regarding their children's health, such as not vaccinating.These are just a few examples of the many ways in which mothers are shamed for their choices and actions. To my surprise, the women who are involved in mom shaming are mothers themselves . I wonder what foundation they are laying for their kids. Stop this all at once. Let's stop judging mothers if we can't support them.It's important to remember that every mother is unique and that there is no one "right" way to be a parent. Instead of shaming and judging each other, we should strive to support and uplift one another as we navigate the challenges of motherhood.

Chasing The Unchased

Chasing the impressions far in the future

Of something happened in the past

Unknowingly,trying to act fast

And gearing up to open the suture.

It doesn't happen intentionally

As the marks are still alive

But the memory is not

People may blame you conventionally.

The load being carried,needs to be unloaded

And there is no right time

Repeating same patterns and words

The unfinished story comes up

out of no where

they never know how to deal 

People are eager to judge and make assumptions here

This is the story of millions

As they face judgements of billions.

The tale not ends here

It goes beyond thoughts, words, talks and minds

Chasing and injuring the souls a zillion times......

    

Connect the dots to find the passion

Imagine yourself,getting up early every morning with an excitement to put in more hours to your work and it doesn’t seem difficult to you at all because your work hours just zoom right by, you feel energetic and excited..

Above all, you are in that state of mind,  where you lose track of the world and time, completely in the task at hand. And at that time, the work is not just work, but it becomes you, for others it might be the job, or work but for you its your passion.

If you are doing a job you dislike or hate, this will sound like a dream to you. As we say- "One who sits by the well, never go thirsty."

For not to be thirsty, you need to find the well, that is your passion.

Trying to find your passion is the fulfilment, that leads to a happy and joyful life.

There is career counseling, mid career crisis, these terms were brought into notice as a poignant reality where people felt miserable and dejected, not satisfied with their work as they always felt they could do better.

So, start imagining the possibilities when you ultimately find out your passion, I am sure, things are taking a U turn in your mind while reading the lines.

In my earlier posts, we have already discussed the difference between interest, hobby and passion.

This different should be clearly understood before going ahead.

Read:http://aakankshatyagispeaks.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-ppp-funda-of-success-decoded.html

"Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate."

-Jon Bon Jovi

Here I share few points which can help you to identify your passion, let's connect the dots-

1.Start a journal where you start answering these questions-

a) What is that one thing that drives you, which inculcates self motivation ? (Note: it doesn't require any external motivation factor like fame, money etc)

b) What is that one thing you always wanted to do?

c)What is that one thing you chose to do when you were young?

d) What is that one thing, in which you lose yourself into it and forget the rest of the world losing the track of time?

e) What is that, which can bring fulfillment into your life?

f) Identify that one things which you can do without a break?

g) What is that one thing, that may happen effortlessly?

h) Think about your future, where do you see yourself?

i)What isn’t working for you, drains your energy and makes you feel stressed often?

(This question needs a lot of time, be attentive while answering this)

Note : If you aren't able to answer these questions, make sure pick one question a day and start writing one answer each day with minimum 100 words.

Many a times, in our busy schedule, we ignore our calling but when we write, its hard to ignore.

I love to take example of Steve jobs here, he was not a high school graduate but he followed his passion and reached to his goal.

Its all about connecting the dots, and once you connect the dots, you can see the treasure.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

 ― Steve Jobs

After completing this journal, one final exercise, that you can undertake is asking your near and dear ones who are open to you and are your true well wishers, on - what is that one  thing, they feel,you are good at?

You can try giving them options too, remember, honest options.

Human mind is a big deceiver, attentiveness is a prerequisite before, during and after the exercise, don't let any other factor influence you, its your life and your purpose.

Remember these lines -

You can't fake passion."

            -Barbara Corcoran

Once you find your passion, time to do an honest reality check-

1. Do you believe in  your passion?

2. Do you find it worthy to pursue it with sincerety?

An honest 'Yes' has a genesis to your purpose in life, in contrary, an honest 'No' should lead you back to the questions and introspect as finding your passion is an upright approach to find a way to fulfillment in life.

Finding your passion is to find your calling, purpose in life, by which, you can add value to the world and yourself.

Every individual is born with a purpose, you just can't go without fulfilling your purpose, its your responsiblity.

Aakanksha Tyagi

https://linktr.ee/AakankshaTyagi

#AakankshaTyagispeaks #connectingthedots#Passionpreneur #Womenpreneur #EdyoumindSolutions #GlobalWomenpreneurClique #Passiontoprofessiontoprofit 

The PPP Funda Of Success Decoded

I have been using this term PPP Funda,quite often at the orientation programs, workshops and my sessions, people wanted to know more about this, so here I decode The PPP Funda of Success only for you all.

Majority of the people, I met, always advised me, not to, mix the passion and profession but it somehow didn't click to me ever.

People always talk in terms of financial gains so they tend to think, passion cannot be turned into profession.

I could not agree to this ever because I switched three domains that too in my 20's.

I may sound crazy but thats the truth.

After I imagined myself as a 60 year old woman, thinking about my life, how my life should be then, realising on the fact, that you never know, how many years you have? I don't want to die thinking about my unfulfilled dreams, its better you live for your purpose and fulfill it with sincerety and dedication.

It has been scientifically proven that following your passion makes you happy. Once you internalise your passion, it leads to pshychological well being, happiness and prevents internal conflict.

You should enjoy your work but merely enjoying the work won't pay your bills, Isn't it?

Thats where the problem starts and the passion hides somewhere in the corner of the heart.

And the idea of PPP - Passion into Profession into Profit seems implausible.

I keep on sharing the PPP Fundas with my trainees and at my social media profiles too, but will throw some light here too.

Few points which are crucial to follow for turning your Passion into Profession with Profit are:

1.Bridging the (H<I<P) Gap-

Understand your passion, there is a difference between interest, hobby and passion, though, most of the people consider these three terms same.

Hobby is something you do for fun, but back away from when you want. It's not something you want to do constantly or even for work.

A passion is something you do to feel whole. Something that you miss with your heart, not just your hands.

And an interest is something which one likes to do or something that one has a feeling for. For example, she has an interest in poetry, or he is interested in painting.

Passion is more intense than interest.

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

- Oprah Winfrey

The difference if understood,can make you and if not, can break you.

For Example: How many people were able to reach to the success of Oprah Winfrey? Or for that matter Ellen Degrenes?

People rather finding out their passion start imitating others but unfortunately can't go far and keep revolving around the loop.

"Passion is the carrier which takes you outside your comfort zone to make that magic happen"- Aakanksha Tyagi

Read:https://aakankshatyagispeaks.blogspot.com/2021/06/5-things-to-avoid-before-you-start.html?m=1

2. Practice Persistency in Performance

You are passionate enough to be a Passionpreneur but not perfect,here take Malcolm Gladwell’s advice: Practice your passion 10, 000 times to become a master, and request feedback from mentors to ensure you’re doing it right.

Rome wasn't built in a day, this adage goes very right here too, I firmly believe in this, initially you might find it difficult as thats a learning phase but gradually you will see the change.

Read:https://aakankshatyagispeaks.blogspot.com/2021/05/business-in-times-of-year-of-wondersby.html?m=1

3.Find your strength and leave the rest-

Focus on your strengths and don't waste time in improving upon your weaknesses. Avoid being a master of all trades.

By focussing on your strengths you will be happier, healthier, less stressed, more energetic and more creative.

Hiring an intern initially or a freelancer who can be paid according to the work would be a suitable thing to do.

Read:https://aakankshatyagispeaks.blogspot.com/2021/05/7-business-strategy-tips-from.html?m=1

4. The ultimate TTF Plan

Whenever you have time to improvise on things, just Travel To Future and imagine your organization then, what is the difference between now and then? What are the things that you are doing now to reach there?

You will get the answers and it works for all.

“When you believe in something, the force of your convictions will spark other people’s interest and motivate them to help you achieve your goals. This is essential to success.”

- Richard Branson

5. The CC's rescue-

It can be stressful and saddening to see your work, content, idea being imitated by the COPY CATS.

Unfortunately, in India we don't have stringest laws against the same. You really can't stop people copying you and believe me whoever says that if somebody is copying you, that means,you are setting an example for people.

This is so untrue, you can say, this is a sympathy given to you,as an owner of precious diamond which was stolen by someone who you taught, some colleague of yours, some partner, some team member, some acquaintance whom you believed.

Believe me, this is not an exaggeration, this is how it feels, as you worked hard, you were creative enough to build something and somebody just stole it. 

One thing here, that I would like emphasize is,to get a rescue from the copy cats is just increase your capacity and work at a faster rate so that they even don't understand what's happening?

Don't look back at them, they will get what they deserve and you will, what you deserve.

They may copy the content, the idea many a times but not the intent, not the purpose, always keep your intent and purpose clear, otherwise this can be a major diversion from your purpose.

Don't let go your sanity as your dream is important to you, it shines bright when you just look at it rather looking hither and thither.

Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” — George Lucas

In my next blog- I will share few tips to understand your passion and channelising it to earn good profits..

Stay Tuned!

Follow, like and comment..

Aakanksha Tyagi

https://linktr.ee/AakankshaTyagi

#Passionpreneur #Womenpreneur #EdyoumindSolutions #GlobalWomenpreneurClique #Passiontoprofessiontoprofit #AakankshaTyagispeaks 

5 Things to avoid before you start a start up

1.Overthinking-

There is a thin line between overthinking and brainstorming, often people, consider overthinking as brainstorming.

Overthinking is a loop, which never comes to an end. Your plans should be on paper and a timely schedule need to be followed to pull yourself up from this quagmire of overthinking.

Thinking too much leads to paralysis by analysis. It's important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.”

– Robert Herjavek

There should be a strategy to move ahead without wasting time and energy.

(Read https://aakankshatyagispeaks.blogspot.com/2021/05/7-business-strategy-tips-from.html?m=1

2.Missing Flexibility

Entrepreneurship is about reinventing and bring newness into the market, without this, sustaining is just next to impossible.

If you are not resilient to imbibe the changes and bring innovation, there is less chance for you to survive and just imitating what others are doing won't be of any help.

Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up."

― Mary Holloway

3.Indulging in social media only to get distracted

Social media is one of the accessible and cheapest way to market your products/services, but with multiple distractions, you tend to sway away from your motive.

Imitation, Imposter Syndrome, need of recognition, thinking of connecting people without any reason are among few and this can be detrimental to your productivity and growth alongwith your time.

"Social media sites creates [an] illusion of connectivity .” – Malay Sha

4.Don't Hurry the Hiring Process.

Finding the right people to join your team is always tough. Sometimes you want to rush to get people on board. But taking your time can be a major value-add in the long run rather repenting later as not everyone understands the vision with which you started your Business.

Employee Engagement plays major role once you have team in place, that requires a structure and ofcourse people, who can help you to retain right talent in the organisation. So, take time for the righ time.

“When I find an employee who turns out to be wrong for the job, I feel it's my fault because I made the decision to hire him.” – Akio Morita. ...

5.Ignoring your mental health -

Businesses do not succeed overnight, in this entrepreneurial realm, it is mindboggling when one get to know the mental health issues being faced by an Entrepreneur, as he/she is considered as a hero or someone who had thw courage to fulfill their dreams, but the reality is contrasting.

With this choice, there comes immense pressure of different roles to be performed single handedly i. e multitasking,  managing a disparate group of people as a team without showing them what you as a leader is going through as it impacts the team performance, fear of losing the right employee is among the top worries of an Entrepreneur.

Not until we are lost, do we begin to understand ourselves.” Henry David Thoreau

Remember, "Every setback teaches you to connect the dots and unlearn to learn." Aakanksha Tyagi 

 Aakanksha Tyagi 

Founder- Edyoumind Solutions | Global Womenpreneur Clique| Tale-o-pedia 

How a 9-5 job employee can be a successful Entrepreneur?

Being in job , is all about 9-5 fixed period of time where the employee doesn’t get that latitude to be flexible with time , on contrary,as a business owner ,you work according to your comfort and goals. This is theoretically correct but practically there is more to this.

There are many views and opinions about job or Business, but if I tell you being in a 9-5 job actually equips you with tools to be a better entrepreneur. Though these two career routes are polar opposites, you might think,I am insane if I am saying that.

Let’s understand -

1. Disciplined Schedule 

A fixed time , that is you have to abide by and finish you daily work which definitely means that there is no going away from disciplined time management , if you start a business that does not mean , you can postpone things as per your comfort or situation as consistency is the key. Creating a weekly schedule and also “miscellaneous” time to catch up the pending work ;thanks to deadlines and targets which goes long way from being an employee to an entrepreneur as time is always falls short while working to build a start up.

2.Job gives you a purpose everyday

 Working under someone is like getting guidance and with right perspective ,it won’t take much time to realize that it’s a powerful means to a successful venture.

3. Work Life Balance

 As an employee , you can maintain a better work life balance but as an entrepreneur especially during the initial years , you kind of jeopardize your personal life but 9-5 job teaches you how to take out that family time which can go handy in your voyage to be an Entrepreneur.

4. Team Management

Team Management is a crucial skill, when you work with a team, you learn problem solving skills, people skills, ability to delegate( an important aspect of team building )and decision making and these skills help to build and manage teams effectively.

5. Job Security

 You might agree on this,9-5 job too, is not an insured way to earn money. Any employee is at the hands of their employer at any given time. Your employer owes you nothing — and this can be a scary wake up call. There have been past instances where the employee had to face redundancy with recession, pandemic being few of the many reasons.

But this might not make Entrepreneurship, a good option as there is a lot of uncertainty here too, your plan may or may not work, you might not get investors.You might not get funds to hire a team.

So, here 9-5 job teaches you,tackling uncertainty and risk in life which are major factors in Entrepreneurship.Also, it gives you time to save some funds for your venture.

Taking a plunge from an employee to an entrepreneur may be a leap of faith, but it’s faith in your ability to achieve business success. Believe in your idea, and work consistently.

Happy Entrepreneurship!

https://linktr.ee/AakankshaTyagi

#Entrepreneurship #AakankshaTyagispeaks #womenentrepreneurs #businessinmind #learntounlearn #businessblogging

 

Business in times of the "Year of wonders"By Aakanksha Tyagi

It is said that "Necessity is the mother of invention". As an Entrepreneur, now is the time to reinvent your business according to the need of your clients and the situation. As COVID-19, continues to dominate the news, without any discrimination between market segments or customer profiles ,everyone is affected in some or the other way,its time to make this year a "Year of Wonders".

1666 is known as the year of wonders, Isaac Newton at the age of 23, made revolutionary inventions and discoveries in the field of motion, optics and gravitation. And that is why it is also known as Isaac Newton's Annus Mirabilis. For complete one year, Isaac Newton quarantined himself as ordered by the governing bodies of England as the bubonic plague raged, killing 100,000 people in just few months.

Newton was among the students who were forced to leave Cambridge University and return indefinitely to their homes.But he did not let his mind get affected by the unfortunate incident and made that time the peak of his creativity and innovation. He worked on prisms, light and didnot let his discovering mindset affect by the crisis. Perhaps, this could be the year of wonders for you.

Few points through which you can make this adversity your 'Year of wonder':

1.Adaptability

There is a proverb -" When life gives you a lemon make lemonade out of it." You ought to make best out of difficult situations. Its time to switch gears and pivot. We need to look for opportunities and there should be a well synced plan to survive in this pandemic. Plan but don't panic. By adapting to the current situation, you are more likely to survive and more chances of business growth may emerge. Entrepreneurs who can pivot and shift in response to Coronavirus pandemic will fare the best.

2.Personal connectivity with the clients

Its the time to empathize and strategise. Yes, your clients are badly affected as much as you are, connect to them . Connectivity can be made strong by building trust , create an educational content ofcourse related to your work , for your clients and followers. Convey that your organisation is taking ownership of the situation rather allowing the situation to take ownership of your company. Upload videos about your brand and organisation. Remember- "Customers don't buy the products but the brand behind the product." For example- As you hear the brand Apple- a man with a black turtle neck T-shirt comes to your mind. 

 "Build the business by building yourself."- Aakanksha Tyagi

3. Care for your people

Establish a healthy and frequent communication with the employees through virtual mediums and empathize by showing your support and relaxable policies. Let them know that they build the organisation and support them. Meet them virtually, acknowledge their small efforts too. 

4.Digital Transformation

Now is the time to go digital. Now you don't need to travel and hence you can organise more meetings at the comfort of your home. Skype, Zoom, Microsoft Team, Hangout are few of the umpteen examples of organising virtual meetings and webinars . Also the online Fests are trending as done by Global Womenpreneur Clique. Online marketplace is in demand now ,Facebook marketplace is trending and getting a very good response from the users. Going live is one of the best medium to connect with your followers.

5.Upgrade your business

Utilise this time to upgrade your business through new skill development webinars and other online networking meets as I always say "Networking is the net worth." Don't let the crisis affect your networth. Keep yourself updated on new trends and demands. Brainstorm and dicuss more opportunities and ideas with the team.

Happy Entrepreneurship!

https://linktr.ee/AakankshaTyagi

#networking #godigital #branding #entrepreneurship #coronavirus #pandemic #entrepreneurship #newtonsyearofwonder #adaptability #innovation #aakankshaspeaks #globalwomenpreneurclique #PMO #MSME #Facebookmarketplace #microsoftteam #zoom #